Jun13th

The Chicken or the Egg?

by 

Today started off as one of those days when you know you should’ve just stayed in bed. It’s one of those ‘chicken or the egg’ scenarios for someone, like me, who knows that they create their own reality.

The chicken theory: Was it precognition that when my alarm went off this morning I knew I should just snooze it until it was time to call work and tell them I wasn’t coming in?

It was raining and the radio was playing a song I’m not a particular fan of. The rain I can deal with, even though that moment when you leave the warmth of a snuggly bed to get ready for work is not my favourite, I can do it with a sort of romance. For some reason the rain always makes me wistful. I adore snuggling into my blankets a little further while the rain patters on the roof, but I also enjoy being awake, just to let the rain fill my senses.

The bad song on the radio was another thing altogether. It’s not nice to be welcomed into today by a song that nearly makes me batty at the best of times. Let alone when I’m trying to adjust to consciousness.

The egg theory: Maybe I’d already set the scene for today’s events last night, last night technically being 2 am this morning, when I was still hungrily reading and wishing that I didn’t have to get up in a few hours’ time to go to work.

Groan.

Perhaps it was the seed of that thought that grew and solidified whilst I slept.

One thing I do know is that I definitely would have been happier if I’d stayed in bed, snuggling in a little closer to Xavier, the sound of the rain falling on the roof lulling me back to sleep. Oohhh, yes, it would’ve been good.

Instead, I was good, and got out of bed after only hitting snooze twice.

Yes, I decided with resignation to my conscience.

 Yes, I would leave the bliss of bed on a cold, rainy day.

Yes, that I would go to work and do what society required of me, whilst eagerly anticipating the moment when I returned home.

 Ahh Mondays, they’re always that little bit harder, having to leave the sanctuary of the weekend for the chaos of the working week.

It was 8.35am, I was travelling smack bang on time, and I’d just gotten off the phone with Dude, asking me for a lift to work. Apparently I wasn’t the only one struggling this morning. Crap, I have no cigarettes, I’m going to have to stop at the shop first, crap, I hadn’t allowed time for that.

The last 10 minutes of my morning routine would have to be condensed into 5 minutes.

The problem is that I’m not a good hurryer, the more rushed I get, the clumsier I become. Running into the bathroom to grab my makeup bag, one hand holding the bulging bag closed trying to stop any escapees, the other hand trying to zip the bag closed. A clattering on the tiles behind me alerted me to an escapee, my eyeliner, predictable, it’s always the eyeliner.

Stuffing all the essentials back into my handbag, I ran into the bedroom to kiss a blissfully snoozing Xavier goodbye, with it being a rainy day – he didn’t have to go work.

I paused in the doorway to savour his peacefulness before walking around and gently perching myself on his side of the bed, wishing wistfully that I could get back in and join him. I kissed Xavier lovingly on the forehead and then his cheek, hoping he would wake up and not wanting to disturb him at the same time. I’d already woken him earlier when I started doing a raindance, hoping it would flood our small town enough that I wouldn’t be able to get to work today. Too bad that hadn’t worked…

Xavier’s sleepy eyes opened and he murmured a “mahalo” that was both loving and conveyed his sympathy for me having to go out in this weather, when he was still comfy in bed wishing I could come and join him. It was always hard for us to part, no matter how short the time.

I ran past Bee’s cage, wishing him a good day, he tweeted back in his little budgie voice. I think he was happy I’d left his blankie half on so that he could still snooze until Xavier decided to get up.

 It’s hard to leave the house when even your bird is enjoying his rainy day sleep-in.

I called out my final goodbyes as I locked the front door and trudged to the car, ugh there goes the fringe, turning into frizz. Damn, I forgot to put hairspray on it, yep it’s definitely going to frizz. Jumped in the car and shit, that’s right I need petrol too. That’s ok, I’m travelling all right for time, I can get cigarettes at the petrol station, I’ll pay a fortune, but at least it’s convenient. I don’t mind paying for convenience today.

I stopped to pick up Dude, who was hesitating from the front step with a silent mental plea that we not go to work today, I know Dude, I’m right there with you. She hopped in the car and we gave each other a commentary of our weekend’s activities and adventures as we drove towards work.

It was really pouring rain now, made worse by my car being somewhat of a figurative old shoe, some would say shitbox, I prefer old shoe, we’ve done a hell of a lot of travel time together. She’s comfortable and reliable to me, no matter how bad she looks and no matter her many quirks, she’s like a favourite pair of shoes that you’ve worn to death and just can’t bring yourself to throw away.

I love her, even though she’s a Hyundai Excel, so ordinary because everyone has them, yet she looks nothing like any other Excel I’ve ever seen. She has rather large hail dents all over her roof and bonnet, and hasn’t had a proper bath in about 2 years, causing the blue paint on the roof to oxidise and turn white due to a lack of silicon, sunshine leeches it out. One of my car’s quirks is that the windscreen wipers are held to the windscreen motor by cable ties, a rather inventive quick fix by Xavier, the only problem being that sometimes the cable tie slips, letting the right wiper come too far to the right, it gets stuck on the front pillar of the car, meaning that even in torrential rain I have to keep my window open enough so that I can stick my hand out and slap the windscreen wiper to make it come unstuck from the pillar, getting splashed in the process. Not to mention the noise, an inconsistent “doonk, clunk” that we’ve noticed miraculously stops when you turn a corner.

We’d finally made it to the petrol station, man was I about to have some fun, the wind was now gale force and the rain was sheeting sideways.

Yes, fun.

Of course the side that my petrol cap was on meant that I had to park just where the shelter of the petrol station ended.

Bracing myself as I prepared to leave the relative warmth of the car, Dude kindly offered to pass my purse through the window when I was finished putting petrol in, she also suggested that I use an umbrella, good idea, otherwise I’m going to spend all day wet, in the arctic air conditioning at work, I’d be a block of ice by the end of the day.

I popped the umbrella as I opened the door and jumped out into the semi-cyclonic weather.

Saturated.

The umbrella was completely useless. I might as well have been holding a stick for all the shelter it gave me.

I made it to the other side of the car where the petrol cap lives and realised that I was going to have to hold the cap when I took it off, if I put it down, I would never see it again – it would be gone with the wind. So there I stood, pumping petrol with my right hand, useless umbrella and petrol cap in left hand, umbrella not doing anything for the rain, just wanting to play with the wind.

 After what felt like hours, but had only been seconds, man is petrol getting expensive these days, I decided $20 was enough petrol, I was soaked, right through four layers of tops, right down to my undies. Maybe I should just turn around now…No, can’t do that, think of Jewel. She’d be there all on her own, trying to get through all of the Monday chaos. I have to go in, even if it is only for a couple of hours. Either way, I’m not going to last a whole day at work, saturated in air conditioning that feels like it blows straight off icebergs.

With the stress of putting petrol in the car I was hanging for a cigarette, so as I drove out of the petrol station, I lit a cig and continued down the road in torrential rain that was falling so heavily I could barely see the lines on the road. Doonk, doonk, clunk. The bloody windscreen wipers got stuck on the driver’s side pillar, in the horror of not being able to see for a couple of seconds in the pissing down rain, I quickly stuck my hand out the window to slap the wipers back into place… and lost my cigarette under my seat. Bloody crap! I pulled off to the side of the road and released a roar of frustration, much to Dude’s amusement. She started rocking back and forth as her body convulsed with the laughter she was struggling to keep to herself. With one look at her, I started laughing like a crazy woman too.

So I stayed true to my word, I went to work, did all the work I could to make Jewel’s Monday easier, and left for home 2 hours later, shivering like a scared Chihuahua.

Yes. I was finally going back home, ecstatic to think I was coming home to spend the rest of my afternoon, writing this little commentary of my morning, and pondering the chicken or the egg scenario I have just written.

 

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